What Makes A Great Wheelbarrow

It was black and new and glossy and beautiful. Sitting in our yard, our freshly purchased wheelbarrow was a stunning lawn ornament. I will admit I had a hard time using it at first. The main task was to load rocks and dump them in a pile. I began to interact with it gingerly.  Instead of tossing the rocks in as I typically would, I gently stacked them on the shiny bed before I realized how ridiculous it felt to treat a garden tool with such tenderness. I even paused to photograph my delicate efforts to nicely stack the stones. This is not normal behavior when wielding a wheelbarrow.

I began to reconsider my attitude toward our new wheelbarrow. I realized that it was impractical to expect the glossy finish to remain flawless if I used the wheelbarrow for its intended purpose. This realization reminded me of a life lesson that I keep remembering, forgetting, and relearning. 

It is impossible to get out of this life unscathed by pain, sadness, failure, sickness, grief, disappointment, frustration, injury, anxiety, and myriad other uncomfortable mortal conditions. We can do our best to avoid pain and sin, and, yes, there is some degree of suffering that we can reduce by making good choices. Even so, like a wheelbarrow, we can't really fulfill our purposes in life unless we go all in and stop being afraid of coming in contact with some scratches and bumps along the way. 

Dory, from Disney Pixar's Finding Nemo, expressed this sentiment to Nemo's dad, Marlin, who was distraught because his only child was missing:

Marlin: I promised that I would never let anything happen to him!

Dory:  Hmm. That's a funny thing to promise.

Marlin:  What?

Dory:  Well, you can't never let anything happen to him. Then nothing would ever happen to him. Not much fun for little Harpo.

If we continually avoid - or protect our children from - uncomfortable or potentially painful experiences, we might deprive ourselves - and our children - of wonderful learning opportunities and life lessons.  Sometimes we hold back out of fear when we could achieve great things if we would take some calculated risks. I find myself becoming indecisive when I don't know that the outcome of a decision will be entirely favorable. Sometimes we need to step out of our comfort zone and do something we've never done, even if our endeavors might fail miserably. Usually, we gain invaluable knowledge and experience through our encounters with failure and defeat. Sometimes, a potential failure becomes a great success. 

When I met Aaron, I was planning to return to school. Then we became engaged, and I started to question my decision. Was it the right timing? Could I balance my classes with a new husband and a full-time job? When I was single, I was able to concentrate on my undergrad studies as my primary focus. I was concerned that now, with these other responsibilities taking a higher priority in my life, I might not thrive academically as I had done in the past. In essence, I feared that my attempt at grad school might result in failure. 

But I heard some great advice. I heard Wendy Ulrich give a seminar about happiness. Part of her discourse was about perfectionism and how it can limit us from achieving our potential. It can lead us to set unrealistic goals and even beat ourselves up for falling short of our relentless standards. Something that really struck me was when she said,

"If a thing is worth doing, it is worth doing badly - rather than not doing it at all, or while we learn to do it better."

We always hear this adage in another light, "If a thing is worth doing at all, it is worth doing well." There is some truth to this. But while we should aim to do our best in whatever endeavors we set out to accomplish, we have to remember that we can't let fear of failure stop our forward progress. If it was worth it to me to get a master's degree at all, it was worth pursuing, even when I anticipated that, despite my best efforts, I might not achieve the grades I would like. So I went ahead with it. It was difficult and time-consuming, but it was also enjoyable and rewarding.

A wheelbarrow, if it is going to be a good and useful wheelbarrow, needs to be well-used. It should be filled with rocks and soil and weeds and trash with no reservations. It should be bumped around on uneven ground and used to dump heavy loads into piles. A good wheelbarrow that has served its purpose is not shiny and spotless. It is dirty, scratched, and dented. 

Marjorie Pay Hinckley said, 

"I don't want to drive up to the pearly gates in a shiny sports car, wearing beautifully tailored clothes, my hair expertly coiffed, and with long, perfectly manicured fingernails. 

I want to drive up in a station wagon that has mud on the wheels from taking kids to scout camp. 

I want to be there with a smudge of peanut butter on my shirt from making sandwiches for a sick neighbor's children. 

I want to be there with a little dirt under my fingernails from helping to weed someone's garden. 

I want to be there with children's sticky kisses on my cheeks and the tears of a friend on my shoulder. 

I want the Lord to know that I was really here and that I really lived."

Don't be afraid to be a scratched and dented wheelbarrow. A shiny wheelbarrow hasn't been very useful.